Second Day of my leave

Wow.... this my second day of leave and most of the time i spend sleeping and going online..... but today abit different i have to go do visitation for zilei group... cos as you read yesterday post, she went oversea for teacher exchange (so good i want to go too) but is ok..... i shall stay in singapore to serve God hahahahahhaha even more.... yesterday was very different day for me.... that i have nobody to really listen to me and feel the way feel tried after serving for all 7 childrens church svc....... i think this is a very very stretch christmas for me.... and for most of us but we still go though the rush timing during this christmas...... today the plan for me is as follow:

3:00pm to 6:00pm - Go walk walk around AMK and Compress Point......
6:00pm to 6:30pm - have a good Dinner by myself hahahahah so i can enjoy the food myself......
6:30pm to 9:00pm - Do visitation......
9:30pm - Home sweet Home......

This my plan for today..... if you wnat you can join me to have dinner but if can i like to have dinner by myself......


From
Letter TO GOD

First day of my leave

Sigh....... first day of my leave i spend the day whole sleeping and try to go out with friends but none of them reply my message i think they are super busy doing their calling and also doing their visitation..... wow zilei going oversea again and have help her to cover her area for her.... and i super tired and dry in my spirit after serving for i think 7 svc and i attend 1 main svc.... and hope that i can spend more time with my best friends.... and also my aa zone FAMILY..... really this year christmas i feel a different kind of christmas i use to have a born and a disappointed christmas that i will have scolding and rejected by people and lost of FAMILY love that i want it so much that i cant find it any more.....


From
Letter TO GOD

This Year Christmas Very Disappointing

Merry Christmas to all of You! Yes i back again to my blog, to update things around me happen everyday, every min and every second. Back to the subject this year christmas i were very disappointed with alot of things. And i think this year christmas is really a christmas that i never want to have again. Many people wondering why i cry yesterday during svc. i cry because not of the drama but i was thinking about the fengge play as tom that he does not have or know who is his parents. and when i see people giving out present to friends and family i reminded of my broken family that i have, and i feel that this year i come to a place that i must make a decision to give present to people around me this year, and this month i dont even have money to spend on myself and just want to bless someone else happy during this season. and many time you see me almost everytime wear the same shirt and jean every weekend or going out with people. and this season i must really eat at home and times i will never go eat dinner and lunch or even eat anything. just want to see the smile on my friends faces. but this year was very very bad that i only manage to buy two things for jonathan and i feel bad without buying other people present and i feel that i have short changing them in their friendship....


From
Letter TO GOD

Tried

Super tried and dry in my spirit this week dont know why??? thinking of how to go for cell group meeting for the next few month cos i stick in camp till 7 sometime to even 8.... how to go for make up cell group...... and sunday even wost have to go back to camp also sometime.... cannot go for make up cell group meeting.... stressssss...... how????? God i really in the stage that i am very dry and lost the hunger for more of You GOD...... God i make this stresss.... go away from me... and i wont be stresss in the small things of coming for cell group meeting and serving you...... HELP ME GOD!


From
Letter TO GOD :(

Serving GOD!!!!!

Wow..... This week is a tried one..... but i thank God for giving me strength to serve Him this week..... About what new starting from next week i be doing N06 a woodlands bus.... thank God for giving me chances to come back to transport..... but i cant do return sad :( but is OK.... still to serve God.......

From

Letter TO GOD 

LONGGGGGGG TIME

WOW!!!!!! Since a LONG Time i never update my Blog.....

Last week we celebrated Mei Xiu birthday at Chinatown KTV.... This is the first time step into a KTV..... and alot of our zone people will there only.. ME, Anson, Jonathan, Jackson, Michelle, Zi Hao and the birthday girl.... most of all we enjoy ourselves breaking all the KTV rules... the following section is taken from my ZS Anson BLOG.... (Dont know that he also got Blog right? hahahahahahaha)

KARAOKE RULES 101

1. No Skipping of Songs

2. No Singing Together When Someone Is Singing

3. No USING Of Remote Control As Mike

4. No Changing Of Song Lyrics

5. No Switching Of Singers Suddenly

The Above rules have been seriously violated by AA personals especially JACKSON TAN !!!!!!!!!

From

Letter TO GOD

PLease PRAY for ME!!!!`

This month i been go in and out of hospital for many reason, 1 is cos by my intestine and another is my headache is been very bad this year........ so really need all your prayers and i going for a CT scan on the 27 july in CGH on my head..........

from

Letter TO GOD

Emerge, Revelation and PASSION

1. Emerge: This year EMERGE is really a changing point, mind and life changing year for me because i in army, many things that i like to do but i cant this year. this year Pastor Kong is really challenging us to be the salt and the light of the world, one night pastor preach on the title Have a broken heart to God. And the word and the presence really change me and bring me closer to God and into His love more, during one of the emerge session LOVE of GOD is so close and strong i cry cause many time i think no body loves me and cares for me. but no GOD still loves me and the people around me they still loves and cares for me.

2. Revelation this week: Isaiah 9: 2 " The people who walk in darkness will see a great light. For those who live in a land of deep darkness, a light will shine." many time i really will feel sad, depress of some of the things, like this verse when you in darkness in times GOD will give you a great LIGHT in front to shine for you so i can really keep on walking to the bright LIGHT GOD have set to direct me.

3. what PASSION means to me:

P - Patient - I must have PATIENT. and PASSION have to build up slowly.
A - Able - I ABLE to have PASSION to win the lost and in the things i like and love to do for GOD.
S - Slowly- PASSION have to build up SLOWLY, no point rushing.
S - Sow- PASSION giving some to people who are in need of something.
I - Into - For me to have PASSION in the lost and ministry i must get INTO the things i love and can do.
O - Overcome - I must OVERCOME the things of world during this time my PASSION will keep growing.
N - Never give up - I must NEVER GIVE UP in myself and in GOD for the PASSION in the lost and ministry .

From
Letter TO GOD

Emerge 2007 Part 1

This week is our youth Conference EMERGE 2007, where all the youth will come together to set a revival in their campus. And this year emerge is a bit different from the past few years, this year we have all competition and games for the youth to show their talent. And this year theme is “I CAN DO ALL THINGS” and also this year I in army cant join any competition, I want to thank God that I manage to come for all the session only for the final night that I have to book in at 2030, but is ok. I enjoy myself in this year emerge. Many things have change my view of not just serving the Lord but is also LOVING the Lord, and we must always trust in God and do it with God strength and not by own strength to do the things of God.

As many people know that I have suffer in depression and have a through of ending my life and many people say that I cannot do things well and when ever I do something for them, they never say even a thank you. And after 1 June 2007 night session I was reminded by God in the svc I broke down before God and start to cry, cause I in the past don’t understand the meaning of Love and I always think that I am not loveable in my own family, church people and in camp.

Emerge 2007 Part 2

But after yesterday svc God hit my heart and broke all the wrong things and the thinking that I have, and I cry out to God and lead me out of the thinking that I have and break the wall of depression and sadness that I will be who I am in the past happy. And many people have think that I am weak in my physical body, yeah I weak in my physical body but I know one thing, God will give me strength and He will bring me to another level of spiritual grown and I willing to give my life to die for Christ the same way Jesus die in the world to bring the soul to God. I willing to be a fool for Christ. God is always there with me, and He have also set people to encourage and help me when I feel no meaning living, and they encourage me. And times that my day is bad, they are there to make it happy. The most impact session was yesterday svc about the LOVE with God.

To come back to the first love that I have with when I first receive God into my life, and it really touch me and my life and the love to God even more. And I really want to thank God for the following people who are always there to cheer me through hard time. Jonathan, Elaine, Jackson, Zilei, Anson, Yvonne and many of you. So keep praying for me. That my relationship with God will be strengths.

From
Letter TO GOD

The Lost Sheep

Today I am remind of this story in the bible talking about the lost sheep and remind of the email I send last time to all my friends and now thinking though what I said that time in my email. I was thinking why did I write about the lost sheep that time. And I remember cause that time I was really very sad and sown and that nobody is there to encourage and talk to me, but only God aloe, but I must remember something that God don’t have just one sheep but there are a lot of sheep to look after and I was thinking now can one sheep live alone without any sheep around and thinking is like in the real life if a person without friends the person will feel alone, sad, feel more rejected in the world or in the place. We also have to look at the big picture of what God wants to do in our life, God gives us friends to help each other to grow in spiritually and also in relationship with people. I know one fact that if you are lost, your friends will be worry about you. So whenever a Christian backslide the first person or the first group of people they will be shock that will be your friends. So before you think of BS or killing yourself think about who will you hurt before making the decision of BS or killing yourself. Praise the Lord hear that my area AA204 have 13 newcomers and total 32 kids came this Easter celebration. And I want to thank God for the breakthrough and bring kids into the kingdom of God.

From
Letter TO GOD

In Good or Bad

This weekend I called to come back to camp on Sunday morning 8am. And many things happen this whole weekends. For no reason I cant feet the presence of God, when I do my quiet time in my army camp room. And I feel I so death in my walk with God when I in army. And many time I feel like giving up cause I really cant feel God in the place and I was wondering God have you forsaken me in this place and leave me, were alone to go though all this thing, and many night I have cry because I cant feel God around me. So yesterday on the way back home. I was sms Jonathan and I talk to him the things that happen to me this whole week. He is always a good encourager always talk to me when I need someone to talk to. After sms yesterday I was doing my quiet time and cry again cause yesterday God spoken to me, that I have to keep walking and don’t look back at the past and God show me John 3: 16. And Jesus die for me to set me free from all the broken hearted and take away all the bad things and give me good things and a positive thinking and all the things that I think must be change from (-) to (+). And I must look at the good slide of the army life, and the things that are going to come, so I must hold on to the calling of God and never let the bad things stop me from going toward the calling of God have given to me.

From
Letter TO GOD

I'M back to blog

heLOW!!!

My friends i'm to blog (hahahahhaah) i think i have not blog for 2 months, cos i'm in army camp and many things have happen during army last 2 months. And i have go though alot of up and down by myself in the camp. Many people backsilde from church before they cant face the really fact in army bad things will happen to them, but they think that they will not leave God during the 2 year serving in NS. And many of the time, they are taken away and blined by the things of the world and never want to overcome and cross over. And many time they will feel bored and tried cos no one is there to encourage them to keep walking in the LORD. and they choose to follow the world, and they find no meaning in christ, so they backsilde from the LORD and go to the world and they think they will find themselves peace and fun. but no they find problems and problems when they leave the LORD. And thank GOD i got a church that really cares, loves and encourage me to love GOD and love Jesus in times of problem and not just keep it to myself but i have to learn to share with my friends and leaders that is set for me to help me to grow. Thanks to Jonathan, Elaine, Jackson, Anson, Wai Sum, Mei Xiu, Michelle, Xiu Yuan and many other in children's church that cares about me.

from
Letter TO GOD

Tomorrow is A brand new Start of Life.

heLOW.....

Today is my last day to blog cos i am going into army tomorrow (abit sad). hope all my friends will remember me. And many things have happen during this few days happy and sad also have, but the thing is how you look at the thing that happen that day. And i want to say a BIG THANK YOU to all my friends and HAPPY FAMILY ( Jonathan, Elaine and Jackson) for encourage me when i was feeling down and cheer me up when i was lost thanks to all of them. Keep praying for me to have a good start in the army.

REALLY MISS ALL OF YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!

From
Letter TO GOD

4 more days to army!

Hi... i have 4 more days to spend and to enjoy before i going into army and i feel abit sad, and many things happen to me last week i feel i am lost in the spirit and lost all my friends and feel nobody is around to encourage me but i believe i all i need is the encourage from God and no people or man. but i still have to thank God for putting Jonathan, Elaine and Jackson. and i remember something i have to say sorry to Jackson for yesterday. and this week many people is meeting me out for dinner and fellowship with me before i go into army to spend my 2 years in the camp to be train to become a real man (hahahahahahahahahah).


From
Letter TO GOD

What wrong with me?

Wow.... since a long time i haven been updating my blog so i want to use this whole blogging (hahahahahahahahaah). Yesterday is a bad day for me. many things happen and i feel sad and feel everyone is drawing away from me. and feel nobody cares and loves me. and wanted to ask God where are you God when i need you. and for a few min am i thinking for ending my life because i am really tried of living in this world. and everyone around me since to be drawing away and away from me, i feel i began to lost my trust in people again, and now i really feel like crying again cos i really feel lost in my spirit and tried. can someone talk to me. and i only have 4 more days before i go into army.


From
Letter TO GOD

Anson Birthday Celebration

HAHAHAHAHAHA..... YEsterday we celebrate our ZS birthday. and by right and by left we
should be celebrating his birthday today but i think everyone is not free so i think michelle bring
forward to monday midnight to celebrate for him, and michelle is so smart she plan with winnie
how to give anson a big shock.... but end up we suggest wai sum to go up to anson house first to
to pass winnie her present and i think for 2 min to 5 min wai sum is inside and wai sum say she
have to leave first and anson open the door and next thing you know. Anson is shock to see us outside his house and we sang happy birthday song.

Chinese New Year!!!

WOW!!! Time really flys, less than 1 week to Chinese New Year. and i haven 
even buy my chinese new year cloths is ok i going to buy it tomorrow after 
prayer meeting. And  i really want to change the way i show myself so i really need people to go shopping with me tomorrow and i have only $50 to spend on this year because i going in army soon so no point buying so many cloths. yah so maybe i will be calling jonathan, jackson and gangs out to buy chinese new year cloths. hahahahaahh. talking about army i have 4 more weeks to army and i really want to spend time with my family and besst friends. and i really going to miss all of you guys, remember to keep me in prayer that i will be strong in NS.

P.S. to Jonathan, Elaine and Jackson meet your for dinner after i go into NS.


From
Letter TO GOD

Prayer Meeting

WOW!!! This week tuesday prayer meeting is so GOOD that is very different from other prayer meeting that i have go before. why is the prayer different from other prayer meeting is Pastor want us to have encounter with God by us praying alone and connet spirit to spirit with God. and i began to pray and God spoke to me. He said "What ever you ask in My name it shall come to pass and all things that your heart desire I will give to you" and i was so into the presence that i began to ask God to bring me to another level of spiritual level in my life and many other things. And things began to come, after the prayer meeting. PTL.

From
Letter To GOD

Am back to Blog again!

Wow.... since long time i update the blog (hahahahahaha). i got two things to say for this post. First of all, I am going in the army soon. i going into army on the 16 march 2oo7 is on the friday that means i will miss the svc on sunday and i will miss the time fellowshipping with my BEST Friends and my AAzone member. Second thing is only today i never go out with Jonathan, Elaine, Yuhao, Jackson and MX (hahahahahaha) so everything today will abit quite and bored for me, but never mind tomorrow we going to start the workshop by going to CCS (Christ Church Secondary School) to give worshop.

from
Letter TO GOD

Through Year 2006 Part 1

first of all i want to wish all you guys a Happy New Year. Now i
going to share how is the year 2006.

In 2006 is really a turning point for me and my life, and there is
many thing that happen in year 2006.

Nothing much happen during the first few month, my life turn and
change during my 18 birthday that my children's church zone member
gave me a shocking birthday, and i will shock to see all of you guys
came to celebrated my birthday together with me. this is there i know
my AA zone member even more and of cos since then i get to know
jonathan and jackson and i know that i have found a true meaning of
friendship and i began to open myself to share my problems with them,
and slowly thing in life began to change.

Through Year 2006 Part 2

first i get into rejection and many time i will feel that i am not
good to be jonathan and jackson friend, a later on i get into
depression and many time i will feel like ending my life and the walk
with God, and many thing came back to my mind fresh through my mind
and one of the thing that leave a print in my mind is that people are
always there to cheat me and i will always not want to forgive them,
later on i get bitter with Jonathan why? because he is helping wai
sum to look after a group. and i always said to myself people cannot
be trusted they always there to cheat you. and my heart slowly
becoming harder and harder that i will not people to close to me.

during one of pastor kong preaching in anger management, and he said
some that really hit my heart and my mind hard. that is do not sub-
press everything in your heart and not build a wall around heart, and
when i began to listen i hear Holy Spirit moving in me and during the
altar call i break down in tears and began to cry down to God to hit
down the wall that i have build over the years, and ask God for a new
heart, and later on Pastor kong give another altar call anyone who
are bitter, or there is someone that you cannot forgive what they
have done to you in the pass. and he want us to speak out the name of
the people who you are bitter about and people that you cannot
forgive, and i take a long time to said out their name. when i was
worshipping God after i say out the name God spoke to me said go to
the people who you have bitterness and to people who you cannot forgive.

Through Year 2006 Part 3

on the next day i take up my boldness to sms jonathan to tell him
that i am bitter about him taking a group and i ask him to forgive
me, and you know what he reply me, he said he can already feel that i
am bitter that he is taking a group. and slowly i know that Jonathan
and truly a friend that God have set to help me.

slowly the blessing of God began to come upon me when i give my
tithe during the first week of the month that is the month of Nov.
and many thing began to happen many people start to give me call to
ask me if i want to work for them. slowly i became a blessing to
others when was bless with job. i never give treat to people around
me before, and the first treat that gave is to my best friends
Jonathan, Elaine and yuhao in pepper lunch. since then i found the
joy of giving and blessing others and not just receiving from others.
i think all most everytime i will bless them with dinner and i bless
them when they dont have enough.

and last year was a really break though year for me during the
christmas i bless my best friends with presents, jonathan= bag,
jackson= bag, elaine= a ed hardy jeans, michelle= bag. and something
really shock me last year is first time receiving christmas present
from people! my best friend (jonathan, elaine, jackson and michelle)
buy me a shoe i am so happy. slowly more present start to come to me.

this is a summary of the year 2006.

I know my english is not that good but is what i want to share the
goodness God that show to me during the year 2006

From
Letter TO GOD